Happy Birthday Playroom Lubbock

n August of 2015 with a child starting Kindergarten and a two year old in tow, I opened the doors of the Playroom Lubbock. Just barely. The construction of my build out was not entirely complete, but with 7 clients and a fully furnished play therapy playroom, the grand adventure moved forward, evolved, and transformed over time. Each time a child steps inside our door I consider each one a grand adventure. Year 9 is full of possibilities, becoming, wondering, wandering, and finding our way along the way. Adventure was, is now, and awaits.

How would you complete this sentence: Adventure is______________.

For me, adventure is both a frame of mind and also a lived, breathed experience. Adventure is experiencing both being fully alive and fully human. Adventure comes in both small and large packages. It plays hide and seek in the unknown waiting patiently for us to bravely pursue it. Adventure can arrive to one recipient; can be shared amongst trusted humans; can be held and embodied by strangers sharing the same space and time; can be cultivated through a community willing to share in its delight; and can be discovered through the attributes and laws of nature.

The world breathes over me and anticipates for me to accept her offering of adventure. If only I pause to inhale, my exhale is my response and intention: to grab hold of the adventure (full of both uncertainties and wonder) OR to recognize when the adventure is not for me (yet or at all) and to let the wind carry it on.

Adventure is not without doubt, discomfort, mess ups, and second guesses. And when does adventure begin or end? After all it is not defined by the parameters of time. Adventure is in the preparation, it’s in the present, and it’s in hindsight.

Many of you may remember from previous emails that I embarked on an adventure to train for a triathlon this summer. The preparation most definitely contained doubt, mess ups, and second guesses. It also contained surprise, delight, confidence, and slow and steady progress. During the scheduled triathlon event, a new adventure emerged: physical, emotional, and mental fortitude.

And in looking back on the completed triathlon, I rediscovered the value of community and supportive friendships. If your people are not running the race with you, who is on the sidelines cheering your adventurous spirit on?

Lastly, adventure is transformative. The Middle English 1300s version (aventuren) meant “to risk the loss of.” You are not who you used to be before the adventure. By adventuring, are you willing to risk the loss of who you once thought you were? How can we view the subtle and drastic transformations in our lives as beautiful things?

For our birthday month at the Playroom Lubbock we want to offer opportunities for you and your child to experience adventure. One of my favorite memories of adventure as a kid included going to camp and making friendship bracelets. The rhythmic process of tying loops of thread felt comforting. Adventure is also found in the act of sharing, exchanging, and receiving of bracelets with others. For the remainder of the month current clients will receive a threaded friendship bracelet in honor of their adventure.

We have at least three more upcoming opportunities for adventure to offer our community (not exclusively for clients). Two of them are FREE. One is a reduced price!

Kids ages 4-10 can adventure on their yoga mats for a pop up Yoga Calm class where we will read Anna and Her Colored Yoga Mats—a book about friendship, happiness, and self-esteem.

We are collaborating with a new Lubbock business, Tutu School Lubbock, to host a FREE Pirouette Play Date for kids ages 18 months - 8 years old. Tutu School Lubbock is a boutique style ballet school that believes every child should have to opportunity to twirl, use their imagination, and develop their motor skills.

For adults working with or raising teenagers, we are hosting a FREE virtual discussion of the book “Emotional Lives of Teenagers” by Lisa Damour. Grab your copy and begin reading!

Check out our Events Tab for more details!

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Guidelines for Talking with your Child About Going to Therapy

Prepare your child about going to therapy by explaining what will happen and why. Knowing what to expect will help alleviate anxiety. Let your child know that they can talk to you about how they feel about their therapist and the process. Discuss with your child’s therapy during the initial intake session about how to introduce your child to the therapy process. Take a look at these age by age guides.

As seen in Lubbock Lifestyles Magazine

Read how the Playroom Lubbock began.

Find us, starting on Page 122.

Why an LPC Intern Could Be the Right Choice for Me

What is an LPC Intern?

A Licensed Professional Counselor Intern is a counselor who possesses at least a Master’s degree in counseling and has successfully passed their licensing exam (National Counselor Exam). The Texas State Board of Examiners of Professional Counselors has accepted their application for a temporary license. The requirements for LPC Interns are then to complete 3,000 hours of counseling/clinical hours under the supervision of a state licensed LPC Supervisor. LPC Supervisors are not necessarily in session with LPC Interns and clients, but are required to meet with LPC Interns at least 4 hours a month.

What Kind of Experience Does an LPC Intern have?

While in graduate school, students are required to complete field experience in counseling. Most students do more than the 300 experience hours required. Some interns have experience in specialized areas during their practica.

What does Supervision involve?

The purpose of supervision is to promote the development of the Intern’s clinical skills and to provide guidance and professional development to the Intern. The full responsibility for counseling activities of LPC Intern rests fully with the supervisor. The Supervisor also ensures that the Intern remains in full compliance with the rules of the Texas State Baord of Examiners of Professional Counselors. Supervision involves mentoring, evaluation, and case consultation.

Why work with an LPC Intern?

Interns cannot own an independent practice and tend to have a lower “private pay” rate than fully licensed LPCs. Interns can provide therapy for issues that many insurance companies will not cover. Additionally, when one is receiving services from an Intern, he or she is getting the benefit of having 2 clinicians with their skill sets and expertises. Essentially, one receiving treatment from an LPC Intern gains the benefit of not just that person’s knowledge, experience, and expertise, but also that of the intern supervisor’s.

Raising Confident, Capable Kids in a Performance Filled Culture

“Children who come to believe that our love, praise, or affection is contingent on their pleasing us and doing what we want them to do become the most vulnerable of all people.”

— Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World (Glenn and Nelsen)

I have been silently taking inventory of our culture's and many families' perceptions of performance and raising confident/capable kids. What stands out the most is the unintentional reinforced value that performance has on self-worth. What also stands out are misconceptions of grace and confidence which affect children's perceptions of life and faith.

Before we dive in, you must understand as parents, that it is never too late to make improvements. We are easily caught up in performance based parenting and feeling the shame and guilt of not parenting the way we "should" or the way others do. We equate our parenting performance with our self-worth as a parent. We begin to parent out of fear of inadequacy instead out of grace and confidence.

“We grow and change much faster when we shed discouraging thoughts about what we have failed to accomplish.”

— Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World (Glenn and Nelsen)

To get all of us started in making some improvements, I will be referencing and pulling out pieces from these resources: Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World (Glenn and Nelsen) and What's So Amazing About Grace? (Philip Yancey).

In today's culture we are bombarded with opportunities and pressures for our kids to perform or to prove their abilities. How do we carve out self-confidence, self-validation, self-discipline, good judgement, and a sense of responsibility in our children? These capabilities can be nourished in young people through  1. networking 2. finding meaningful roles 3. exploring 4. celebrating 5. setting limits, 6. developing self-control and 7. modeling grace.

First let's understand "perception." When we think through our experiences, we form conclusions about ourselves and our lives (perception). Children make decisions about themselves based upon their experiences. They think about what they need to do to survive or thrive. When a child's perceptions are threatened or when their perceptions are not consistent with the environment, their brain reacts, which sends a signal to their body to react. You've heard of fight, flight, or freeze. Read more about brain science and behavior here.

Perceptions are unique. Perceptions are keys to attitudes, motivation, and behavior. Perceptions must first be supported and challenged in order to change.

Glenn and Nelsen in Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World suggest ways of helping children process their experiences and examine their perceptions.

1. Identify: What are the important parts of the experience? What happened? What was the outcome? What were your feelings? What was most important?

2. Analyze: Why was that important to you? What were you trying to do?

3. Generalize: How can you use this information next time? What do you need to repeat to achieve the same outcome?

Nourishing Your Child's Capabilities

Networking

“The simplest of all networks is friendship.”

— Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World (Glenn and Nelsen)

People are tribal creatures designed for relationships. We excel when we collaborate, teach, affirm, and encourage each other. Who is in your tribe with whom you can dialogue about the world, about life, and about kids?

Finding Meaningful Roles

“Today we need to deal with our young people actively in ways that cause them to believe they are significant contributors rather than just objects or passive recipients of our activities.”

— Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World (Glenn and Nelsen)

As children find meaningful roles in their family and in their social groups, they develop a sense of importance and personal significance. Focus, direction, a sense of ownership, all help to foster this perception of personal significance. When we listen to our children and take them seriously, we can restore collaboration with them. What are some ways you can offer meaningful roles to your children? How can you incorporate family meetings into your routine? What ritual, tradition, or activity can you devote weekly time?

“The need to be needed is often more powerful than the need to survive.”

— Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World (Glenn and Nelsen)

Exploring

“Experience, especially one that’s reflected on, is a far more effective teacher than parents could ever be.”

— Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World (Glenn and Nelsen)

Too often parents or caregivers step in prematurely instead of allowing a child to do for himself or to experience for himself. When parents are too quick to offer an explanation or expertise, the child is left feeling vulnerable or intimidated. They may form the perception of: I am not capable unless they are here. What would happen if they were not there? Rescuer parents rescue children from inadequacy and then enable them to remain vulnerable. 

By helping our children explore their experiences, they will develop confidence in their ability to learn and problem solve.

Celebrating

When we recognize effort and progress, we get more results.  Sometimes we unintentionally set up a trap for our children by steering them to be independent and then objecting to their way of doing things. Instead, encourage children with specific feedback and acknowledgement of effort.

When we praise the performance or praise the results, we lose sight of the individual and her effort and contribution. Examine how you celebrate your own successes or how you evaluate your mistakes. Do you communicate that self worth and self control are independent of external circumstances?

Setting Limits

“Setting limits is an exercise in using our wisdom and experience to anticipate possible problems and solve them in advance.”

— Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World (Glenn and Nelsen)

Too often we wait until after something has gone wrong to decide what we'll do about it. We often react with anger and say meaningless things. Determining limits together with a child before a situation occurs will help your child's sense of control remain intact. Using firmness and respect to communicate and follow through with a limit provides opportunity for your child to honor the limit and exercise self-control. 

Developing Self-Control

Our children's capability to recognize and acknowledge personal feelings directly affects their ability to select an appropriate behavioral response to a feeling.

“Once children become comfortable with the notion that their feelings are, as are the feelings of others, a legitimate, worthy part of their lives, they are ready to take the next step-to self-control. ”

— Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World (Glenn and Nelsen)

Developmentally around eight years old, most children are capable of controlling impulses that bring immediate gratification and instead choosing a behavior that achieves a goal.

Philip Yancey in What's So Amazing About Grace chooses the word gratitude for motivation for "being good." We want our children to strive to do well and to have self-control--not to make their parents or God love them (we already do), but because of gratitude and a sense of love within a relationship. 

Modeling Grace

“By instinct I feel I must do something in order to be accepted. Grace means there is nothing we can do to make God love us more. And grace means there is nothing we can do to make God love us less.”

— What's So Amazing About Grace? (Phillip Yancey)

Take the initiative to model grace by laying down retribution or fairness. Reinforce your love for your children regardless of performance or behavior. Speak truth and life into your children. Speak to who they are becoming. Forgive. Lay down all of your needs for gratitude and compliments.

We are modeling grace when we allow our children to operate from within themselves, to practice self-control, to explore experiences and opportunities, and to practice their abilities. Regardless of performance or failures, we can gracefully communicate to our children through our attitudes, words, modeling, and forgiveness that they are worthy of unconditional love. This sets the stage for them to explore faith, accept spiritual grace, and to realize their greater worth.

Next Steps

You've read through all of this information, now ask your self "What is the most important thing I've come to realize? What behavior change do I want to make? Why is this realization important right now? How can it make a difference in my life or my child's life? Where do I want to first apply it?"

Complete the following statement: As a result of this awareness, the first thing I will do at the first opportunity is....

Who is our ideal client?

The opposite role of being a helping professional is the private practice business owner role. I am often asked to define, "Who is your ideal client?" Legitimately and appropriately asked, the answer depends on the service I am providing. My general response would be "any child or adolescent, ages 3-17, who is struggling emotionally or behaviorally or who may have difficulties in the future due to a life event or circumstance." These kids may benefit from play therapy counseling or a support/educational group where they have the opportunity to:

Develop responsibility, problem solving skills, confidence, and respect and acceptance of self and others

Learn to communicate, creatively think, express emotion.

Relieve stress, cultivate empathy, enhance social skills

If a child or teenager has difficulty or may develop a difficulty with any of the above AND it is beginning to cause stress within the family or negatively affect the child's functioning at home, at school, at work, or in the community, then it is worth calling The Playroom Lubbock for a phone consultation to see if our services are appropriate for your needs.

The more important question as a helping professional is, "What are the ideal conditions for change?" As a child-centered play therapist, I believe the child, through play therapy, comes to form an appropriate understanding of his world and of himself. I help the parents understand their child's world through collaboration with them. Of utmost importance is the quality of the relationship between the client and therapist. The vehicle of change within the therapeutic relationship relies on these 4 messages conveyed to the child: I am here. I hear you. I understand. I care.

The ideal question for parents is "Who is the ideal helping professional for my child?" Parents should create a checklist of concerns and questions to ask such as: "What's the therapist's background or training working with children? How often do you meet with parents? How long do children stay in therapy? What can this therapy do for my child?" Partnering with a therapist or counselor is ideal. Parents know their child best, and the more information parents can gather and communicate, the better. Therapy for your child is not only a financial investment (of research and evidence based practices), but more importantly, an emotional and quality of life investment for both the parents and child. Therapy requires a parent's commitment to maintain appointments, to partner with the therapist, and to be open to change and to where the child steers the direction of therapy. 

As I mentioned before, our "ideal client" will be different depending on the service. We provide continuing education for professionals and training for parents. We will also speak to groups of kids, adults, educators, or community professionals. In the near future we will be expanding our therapy services to include speech, occupational, music, or art therapies which all address specific needs and all have their own "ideal clients."

The New Playroom On the Block

Why "The Playroom Lubbock?" Because kids identify with the word "play" based upon their concept of the meaning of "play." And "playroom" to a kid means a room full of play. How great is that?! How is The Playroom Lubbock like any other youth gym or childcare? It's not. At The Playroom Lubbock, we will provide optimal and collaborative therapy solutions to children and adolescents to address their mental health, cognitive, physical, emotional, social, behavioral, or communication needs so that they can function at the highest level at home, in school, and in the community.

Our therapy services will include play therapy and counseling. Licensed therapists utilize "play" techniques in "playrooms." When a parent, caregiver, or therapist says to a child, "It's time to go to 'The Playroom," hopefully the child will feel a sense of comfort and familiarity.

As the new playroom on the block, we look forward to serving the community of Lubbock and surrounding areas.